Capturing moments; one of the most important things to me that I don't do enough of these days. These days, that list of things that don't get enough attention is longer than I prefer it to be. In my late 20s, on the cusp of three decades of existence on this planet, mortality is the sing-song theme that rings in my head.
Deep down, I feel anxious. Concerned that the list of ambitions and ideas I have are not being fleshed out fast enough. The coffin grasps at me quicker than my bucket list can spit things out into being.
Deeper down still, it relieves me that I'm going through this growing pain now as oppose to later in life. There's a lot to do, uncover, and develop in terms of dreams-turned-reality. I feel anxious and vulnerable but know and believe this is one of many cocoon stages humans face in life. If I can get it right and keep my wits about me, the rest of my mentally-intact years will be a high era for me, my friends, and my family. This, I am sure of.
With that, who I believe myself to become is a stark leap ahead of who I am now; the newlywed, the transitioning young adult, the millennial only-child creative straddling the tight rope of career development and personal security on one side, and the venturous unknown of creating a secure living by monetizing my talents, abilities, and skills on my own terms on the other.
Whenever I have the chance to line things up in my favor, whenever I have enough left in the tank to do something extra, I am thankful for creating the opportunity to work my dreams further into existence.
Food. Editorial. Time with friends. These are some of my favorite things.
We get older, and it gets harder to find time with friends. Our day in San Diego was chock-full of activity, and for the first time in almost a year we had the opportunity to do something for each other without feeling like time wasn't on our side.
This day wasn't forced. It was a gathering developed through group text, one we keep live at all times. I think that I speak for all of us when I say having these group chats with close friends we don't see enough of is like having that memento around your neck if you travel long and far. They are with me and we are together without having to lift a finger, like times past.
When I go into meetings and do big nervy adult-y things, my homies are in my pocket and that gives me strength. When I am alone and feeling choked by the world's non-discriminate way of pushing a person to the limits, I feel indomitable. When I am lost amidst the vast sky of unsurety and succumb to the fragility of sentient life, I am comforted.
When I think about my friends, and the fact that I have them through the evolution of my life, I feel like I've got a gorgeous coat of armor shielding me from all the bullshit. I feel like I have a clear view through the veil of this so-called real world, the world of the civilized society where we are plugged in and our time is taxed in order to fund the capital of our constructed existence.
Donuts. Togarashi tonic. Ramen. Riding time and not the other way around. These were a few enjoyable aspects of this day. Time was kind today.
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